First things first. Second semester is starting this coming Tuesday,aha.aha.
I cannooooooooooooot wait to go for classes.WHOOTS <3 Somehow I miss college and my peeps and the environment too.
dance dance dance dance !
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Its about my step Dad, who I lived with together with my brother and mum since I was two years old. Being brought by him and my Mom for 13 years left an incredibly impact for me.
I've always thought I had a perfect family all these while when I was in Form 2 : )
Oh boy I was ever wrong. My life just went crumbling down and it felt like someone took a needle and poked my heart. Dad left when I was 15 years old and ever since, we live separately.
It definitely had a domino effect or somehow an impact onto my life. Not just me, but my mum,my step lil brother and my brother.
During those years without him brought a load of hardships and tears including sweat. All the burden we had to carry was just too great for me to handle. It affected every part of me.
Lets not go into too detail. After a few years, which is now hahaa. I had a friend's request from Pa. All the emotions I held for so long all these while struck me, making me even confused. I was so indecisive, thinking whether should I accept it or not.
I mean, its just a friend's request right? But somehow deep down in my heart, the whole life of my hardships flashedback into my mind.
A few days later, i decided to accepted it. I told myself that he's still my father that brought me up when my birth father left me when I was two.
Not long ago today, Pa and I chatted through FB. It was definitely awkward at first but I actually miss him a load. So much that no one would actually understand. And he told me this about my lil brother
" you take care of him well ok....i owe a lot to you girl
please promise me you take care of shaun well ok "
I felt a surge of rage and mixed emotions inside of me. Left me thinking " If you owe me a load, then why did you have to leave us.Why. "
But as we chatted for some time, I finally calmed down. It felt so comfortable talking with my Dad and finally he said this before he went offline
" good nite girl!! im off to bed now...Pa got early class tomorrow....luv u!! "
Its been years since I hear him say that to me. I can still remember every night before I go to sleep when I was young, he'll say that to me. Made me felt so secure and made me feel like I was the luckiest daughter to have him.
I'm not saying I dont enjoy my life right now. Things were starting to get better when he left. Is just that, I've always asked myself whether I could be more happier than before if and only if he did not leave us.
Be it good or bad, I'm satisfied with my life as it is right now.
Thankful for it and i'll appreciate it more than anything else.
Finally, those three words " ILY", it brings a load of meaning to it. So much it can actually heal a person's soul, literally : )
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